Hope for Busy Families
I have many opportunities to speak with parents who are raising busy active families. I have never spoken with a young couple who thought their family did not have enough to do. And yet, at this time of year when it is time to sign up for summer sport leagues, many of these parents will sign their children up without a second thought.
Perhaps there are many reasons for this. There are so many good things your children can get involved in. Parents naturally want to provide their children with as many developmental opportunities as they can. There is the rub. Many families end up so over-committed that their families’ lives are shaped by the competing demands of the activity calendars of the various children in their home. So there is no time for family meals, no time for just hanging out to together, no time for family worship; we have turned our homes into locker rooms instead of places for nurturing relationships. I have spoken with scores of couples whose families have ended up there. I have never spoken with a family that intended to. It was just the unintended consequence of their busyness.
How can you avoid making these common mistakes? You need to create a decision tree that will aid you in making wise choices for your family. Here are some good questions to ask.
1. What will this activity cost? I am asking, not about money, but about time and commitment. Every team sport comes with a price tag attached. Practices, games, fund-raising duties all may add up to more than you expected.
2. When are the practices and games scheduled? I observed a family one Lord’s Day leaving church at quarter to twelve because they could not be late for the game. Their pastor had studied and prepared to teach the Word of God, but at the climax of his message they walked out. While they would not have said it like this, they had more important things to do. If their son concludes that the life that is truly life is found knowing God, it will be in spite of, not because of, what his parents have modeled.
3. What are the values of the coaches? Will they re-enforce or contradict what God’s Word teaches regarding abilities, the value of winning, humility before others and gratitude toward God? Parents cannot disregard the influence of coaches on their children.
4. Will this activity promote a sense of identity that is team-based? As a Christian I want my children to develop a sense of loyalty that is rooted first in the family and secondly in the church.
5. Will this activity create stress for our family because of the activities of the other children? Just dropping kids off for games and then rushing back to pick them up is not being a family.
I know how hard it can be to make wise choices. Remember, as someone has said, “The good things of life are the enemies of the best things in life.”
About Tedd Tripp:
Tedd Tripp is the senior pastor of Grace Fellowship Church, Hazleton, Pennsylvania. He was
Tedd has been an elder in Grace Fellowship Church since 1976 and pastor of the church since 1983. Before seminary Tedd worked as a contractor and in industry. Tedd and Margy founded Immanuel Christian School in 1979 where Tedd has served as a teacher and administrator. Tedd and Margy still serve on the board of ICS. From 1985-1997 Tedd served as a counselor in the Lehigh Valley office of the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. Since 1994 Tedd has maintained an extensive ministry as a conference speaker and presenter of Shepherding a Child’s Heart Seminars. His books and video and audio materials are used throughout the worldmarried to Margy in 1968. They have three adult children and nine grandchildren. Tedd is a graduate of Geneva College, B.A. in History, Philadelphia Theological Seminary, M. Div., and Westminster Theological Seminary, D. Min. with an emphasis in Pastoral Counseling. Tedd is the author of the popular child-rearing book,Shepherding a Child’s Heart. Instructing a Child’s Heart, recently released is co-authored by Tedd and his wife, Margy.
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